Women and beer. (Yes this is a sexist page, but hopefully humorous to most!)

 

“A Real Woman”

A real woman is a man’s best friend.  She will never stand him up and never let him down. She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad day. She will inspire him to do things he never thought he could do…live without fear, forget regret.  She will enable him to express his deepest emotions and give in to his most intimate desires.  She will make sure he always feels as though he’s the most beautiful man in the room and will enable him to be confident, sexy, seductive, and invincible.

No wait… sorry… I’m thinking of beer.  It’s beer that does all that……. never mind! 

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And then there is the other famous German drink:

SOS - $ RDY - WINE

 

 

 

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A real News flash!!  January – Women brewers in England !!

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-25656701

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PLEASE NOTE:

I DO NOT DO VALUE ($$$’s) APPRAISALS! There are way too many variables: condition, location, time of year, present trends in stein collecting, local (and now national) economics; but most of all = prior expectations by the owner, are among the reasons!

I have for over a year now placed these short “notifications” at the bottom of each page! It is now obvious to me the general public never gets that far before wanting to ask me a question on beer stein dollar values. So I have had to move them forward as I am getting tired of copying them and sending them back to people as an answer to their “stein value” questions. This was meant to be an informational web site only.

NOR WILL I KNOWINGLY DO ASSESSMENTS for the future selling of steins on auction sites such as eBay, etc. Go to the web site for “Stein Collector’s International” and click on “Stein Talk,” someone there might help you. I just do not have the time! My web site was really started as an informational site for beginning beer stein collectors that would be looking for the info and not the general public. This site has its own search engine [top right on each page!] SO if one puts in “Wood Steins” or “Hand painted steins,” it will give one a list of all the pages that has that subject matter within it.

STILL WISH TO CONTACT ME ABOUT ANY INFORMATION ON THIS SITE?  EMAIL:  STEVE (STEPHEN)  = thevirginian@cox.net

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I BELIEVE………

…………AND NOT CHAMOMILE TEA !

Remember the book “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus”? Here’s a prime (ACTUAL) example offered by an English professor from the University of Phoenix:

 “Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As homework tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that paragraph and send another copy to me.  The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story and send it back also sending another copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back and forth.  Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent.

There is to be absolutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and anything you wish to say must be written in the e-mail.  The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached.”

The following was actually turned in by two of my English students: Rebecca (last name deleted), and Gary (last name deleted).
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THE STORY:

(first paragraph by Rebecca)

At first, Laurie couldn’t decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile.  But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again.  So chamomile was out of the question.
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 (second paragraph by Gary)

Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago.   
“A.S. Harris to Geostation 17”, he said into his transgalactic communicator. “Polar orbit established.  No sign of resistance so far…”  But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship’s cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.
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 (Rebecca)

He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. “Congress passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel,” Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspapers to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the  beautiful things around her. “Why must one lose one’s innocence to become a woman?” she pondered wistfully.
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(Gary)

Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu’udrian mother ship launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through the Congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu’udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret Mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid, Laurie and 85 million other Americans. The President slammed his fist on the conference table. “We can’t allow this!  I’m going to veto that treaty! Let’s blow ’em out of the sky!”
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 (Rebecca)

This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature.  My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.
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(Gary)

Yeah? Well, you’re a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. “Oh shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of FUCKING TEA???  Oh no, I’m such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels.”
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(Rebecca)

Asshole.
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(Gary)

Bitch.
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(Rebecca)

DICK!
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(Gary)

Slut.
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(Rebecca)

FUCK YOU – YOU NEANDERTHAL!!!

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(Gary)

Go drink some tea – whore.

**********************************************
(TEACHER)

A+ – I really liked this one. Only group to get an A!

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Tin sign, 12 x 15,   AUTUMN RED PALE  ALE

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Well, now we know!

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A man is sitting at home on the veranda with his wife and he says, “I love you.”

She asks, “Is that you or the beer talking?”

He replies, “It’s me…………. talking to the beer.”

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A toast to the women we love; those with little underwear on and a cold beer!

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One of the “ladies” out gunned (out-beered?) eight to one, from Harper’s, 1886. 

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A little bit more modern bar view than above! Late 1950’s?  Only 70 some years later!
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Well if you want to drink beer instead of “milk” you would use this one.

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S0S - BEER BODY BEAKER -BRAND NEW

If you can not afford the stein, then settle for a glass beaker alone the same line.

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1 - Cheryl_Delrio_large COMPLIMENTS OF piratefashions.com-pages-some-of-arrrrr-fine-customers-in-pirate-fashion-garb

 

ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE EQUATION:

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The kind of item I’d like my beer with! Left, the antique version. Right: just a bit more modern.

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 I LIKE BLONDES AT THE REAL OKTOBERFEST, NO MATTER WHAT COLOR THEIR HAIR IS!>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Steve’s note: My mother told me this wonderful way to cool down when your body is too hot! Just put up an extra cold beer bottle or can right next to your eyes. Good for a light headache too. It works guys!

And if it doesn’t………….. drink the damn beer and order another!

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Blonde hair and blonde beer – not too shabby!

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Why can’t we get American women to serve us beer like this??

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Hell, they went this far in Germany years ago!!

For the Guinness World Record of  a German woman carrying one liter beer mugs, please watch:

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/3083342/most_beer_steins_carried_over_40_meters/

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Ah, beer and bread, what more can a guy ask for?

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1 - ALISA  -MUGS AND JUGS with tan line  FALL  2014 , GAMBRINUS  STEIN CUB MEETTING HERE  -2  a test

 A real Oktoberfest treat at Smith’s and Tavern 2014;  German Beer mugs and petite Russian jugs.

 

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Voted the ugliest “stein” of the year 2010, by a “Board of reknown ex-spurts ”

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Bad English as those are beer “mugs,” but who really cares?

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The question was: “Where do women mostly have curly hair?” Apparently the correct answer was Africa!  

One of the other questions that I missed was to name one thing commonly found in cells. “Mexicans” wasn’t the right answer either.

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Built in “Mother-hood.”

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Damn, it is not even German (or a stein)! Do we men care?   Nude woman drinking ▲= photogravure, postcard, original, C. 1910.

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 A California blonde having a beer. But oh… give me a break! 

There’s no way those nails are real!

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And  Great -Granddad Michel ▲ said he’d have to have about 40 of those half liter steins before he’d even start to think about  making out with this woman (and it’s his wife!)

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But I think 40 of those half  liters (referenced above) “might” make her look like this sweetie below ▼, hey ? (Now called “beer goggles”!

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1 - KathyHart -COMPLIMENTS OF piratefashions.com-pages-some-of-arrrrr-fine-customers-in-pirate-fashion-garb

 

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BUT… quite the contrary to the above; this gal has her own stein collection! I hope she joins SCI.

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On the other hand!

 

And finally:

“AN OLD VIKING PROVERB”

“PRAISE NOT THE DAY, UNTIL EVENING HAS COME;

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A WOMAN UNTIL SHE IS BURNT; **

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A SWORD UNTIL IT IS TRIED;

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A MAIDEN UNTIL SHE IS MARRIED;

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ICE UNTIL IT HAS BEEN CROSSED;

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AND BEER UNTIL IT HAS BEEN DRUNK !”***

[ **  in a funeral pyre]

[ *** A Viking “style drinking horn with “griffin claw” supporters and with un-shined silver mounts. This one is dated 1560.]

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[END – SOK -43 – 3D]

WISH  TO CONTACT ME ?  = thevirginian@cox.net

      “Without nipples, breasts would be pointless.”

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